4.15.2013

Growing, Changing

So, I'm twenty now. There's no "teen" in my age and won't be for another ninety or so years.

I know I'm different than I was when I was sixteen by leaps and miles. I actually had to go look in my journal the other day to remember what it was like.

Of course, I was nothing like I was at sixteen when I was seventeen either.

That's pretty much when everything started changing. My ideas about who I thought I was and what I was like were no longer concrete.

Funny, I had decided I didn't really like graphic novels or comics when one of my favorite novels, Avalon High, had a sequel published. Only it was a really cruddy, itty bitty graphic novel. (I'm thinking the art was too reduced or something.) Anyway, Ultimate Spider-Man broke me outta that rut. That was when I was seventeen.

I started watching kids' shows too. We got a laptop, and I wanted to watch something without having to worry about whether it was appropriate (esp since I try to be a good big sister, and I was watching with my brother). So I watched Young Justice, Avengers: EMH, Ben 10, Generator Rex, Danny Phantom, Avatar: Last Airbender, and X-Men Evolution. Even a little Teen Titans, but I think Robin on that show is too OOC to really watch. But my younger sister (by about four years) really made fun of me for watching kids' shows, and my parents are convinced they melt your brains. Don't know what's up with that.

So I'm somewhere between a kid and grown and struggling to figure out school, trying to write novel, not really succeeding, and not dealing either.

Believe it or not, I think anime made a difference there. I started watching Naruto and Bleach, and the characters' motivations for fighting and pursuing strength clicked with me in a way only Spider-Man really had.

The importance of family has been forgotten in America and the importance of independence grossly exaggerated.

Trying to break away from my family held me back, because I came to realize they were what was important to me. Trying to prove I was strong enough to do it on my own, to be independent, was a waste of energy. That wasn't a kind of strength I wanted anymore.

What I do what to do is tell stories. As novels or graphic novels or poems or whatever.
And I want to support my family for as long as they need me.

I'd still like to go to college and have that experience, but for right now, I'm happy trying to make my own life right here.

I'd just like some cash :P

Buenos noches,
S.D.

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