The Exiled (Prologue included)

The story of a banished princess.
Kind of interesting, but it's been there, done that. Right?
What the heck, I'll give it a shot.

Now maybe three years later, I have made huge discoveries in that story. Never really thought it would go this far.
And I've decided it's unique in it's mish-mashing. I've taken several cliches and set them on puree in the story blender.

For instance, the princess is tortured. And she was affected by it psychologically. Don't see that in too many fairy tales (I mean, when you do, they're usually out of their minds, and she's not).
Then of course is the plot twist that shocked me for a month. But just in case this thing ever makes it to the library shelves, I won't go into that. Seriously, it's a big one though...

I really like my characters, Aby and Trina. Trina is rather aloof, and I think she sometimes comes across as cold and unreachable, but that's what she wants. I gave her some exposed moments, but right now the story's in its skeletal frame stage. I'll flesh it out later and put that in there.

But this is problem the third, no, fourth revision. It's on the right track and everything. Of course, that's only the beginning of the story that's on it's fourth revision. But I daresay the Prologue for the story is the Best thing I've ever written.



Prologue
The chains around her wrists and ankles must have been heavy, but she stood tall. And her long, dark hair had matted over the last months, yet it was still somehow glorious. She wore a simple dress, barely deserving of the word, so old, torn, and filthy it was, though she wore it with full regality.
So that now as she faced her cousin, she looked every bit the princess she was. A fact that drove him to the end of himself.
Her pale lavender eyes gazed steadfastly into his own dark, evil ones, which refused to meet hers. But he hid it extremely well.
“Face it,” he almost oozed, “I have triumphed. Surrender now while you still can!”
She made no answer; her calm, steady nerve never faltering. Rogan was irritated by this, and his frustrations were rapidly increasing. He would have to act before he did something regrettable.
“No? Well then, I’m going to have to eliminate you.”
“Do you honestly think you can kill me? At least without the grave consequences of which the poets sing?”
“Why, my dear cousin, do you not know that there are many ways to eradicate an obstacle without technically destroying it?” When she did not answer, he sparked into the circle of stones between them.
It was a Magic fire, for it burn without fuel, hovering a few inches away from the stones. It was also unmistakably Evil. For its flames were a blue and red, and they filled the room with a decidedly sinister air, though they produced no traditional smoke.
Rogan, practiced in his Dark crafts, began to chant. The flames heightened and shot in different shapes. Rogan, with well-placed sweeps of the hand, formed them into a circle which swirled towards the center.
He spoke again and she felt her chains drop off, and Rogan was suddenly behind her, pushing her through the circle.
She landed oddly with a thud on damp grass as the vortex closed up above her. She dazedly realized what had happened. She had been sent to her grandfather’s world. To a place called Earth.

Annelie the Protagonist

Finding the Protagonist:
I first met Annelie.... Well I can't remember when and where. I may have been washing dishes. But that doesn't really matter because suddenly I was sitting in a apartment. I was her. Sort of. Rather, she had pulled me in. I knew the apartment was in Paris. It was light and airy. The TV was playing, but nothing more than a white noise to her.

I immediately knew I connected with her. She was so sad, broken, alone, and lifeless. Something had happened.

Her daughter had been murdered. She nearly was. And she woke up from coma.

This story was mine to tell. It had to be.

She deserved it.

And her name was Annelie.

Naming the Protagonist:
Annelie. Yeah that's the name of my protagonist. At least what she goes by. Her full name is Nadine Annelie Rivers. The last name is subject to change, but I've yet to come up with.... Hey what about DeMarco? I like it. All right her name is Nadine Annelie DeMarco. And Nadine may now change to Sabine. We'll see. You know what? Sabine works now. Nadine Marcus can be an assumed name. Or maybe Sabine Marcus is her assumed name and Nadine is her real name. Hey wait... myabe DeMarco is the assumed name and Marcus is the real one. Sabine Marcus. Annelie Marcus. Sabine Annelie Marcus- It lacks pizazz. I like it. It's a name that works. One you might find in the telephone. Inflicted by an imaginative mother or grandmother and a mundanely surnamed father. It also has reference to the fact that Annelie was supposed to be first. Mother always loved that name from childhood. father insisted that that be her middle name so she didn't have to carry around something so unusual. But the daughter preferred Annelie to Sabine. Figures.

Oh and how does N.D. Rivers sounds as a pen name? I think it will work for now.

Let's just work with "Annelie" for now. And you pronounce it an-nuh-lee, so yeah.

Giving the Protagonist a Face:
Even with no actual illustrations or overly descriptive passages, Annelie had a face. She had a style (or lack thereof) She was so high and weighed so much. She had habits and speaking patterns. I didn't invent theses things. They were already there. They came with her. It was up to me to get that face down on paper and fill in the rest.

Giving the Protagonist a Life:
This was the hard part. The part she was reluctant to reveal. The part she wanted to forget. As she tells her brother: "My life died without me."
I knew this from the start. And I accepted the challenge.
I know now that Annelie is a best-selling writer and an investigative reporter. She adopted a toddler from Ukraine. A little girl called Niki. Who was dead.
But why?
A shadow of a stranger passed over the window. A loud noise came followed immediately by a shattering sensation in her head...
Obviously a GSW. To the brain.
Yet still, why?
The only clue either of us has is the title page. Only she's not giving me a clear answer on what it says. It's a love-hate relationship. As far as communications go.

Giving the Protagonist a Purpose:
Obviously she has to do something in the novel. What? Well, she's an investigative journalist. The murder case is cold. So what does she do? She investigates.
But that can't be it. She's a TBI patient. Her life and her brain is shattered.
So putting together the pieces and moving on is the Idea. Grounding her again is The Thing.